#y'know with the way my brain works

[jonny-b-meowborn]

gays will have silly little dreams where they meet the mechanisms (the actual immortal pirates from space) and get a lil flirty with at least one of them

[keydekyie]

Leap

[sysig]

Don’t be silly! Okay, be a little silly (Patreon)

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Man, sometimes living alone with ADHD really do be like:

Me: Huh, I wonder why I'm so shaky and tired and seeing spots everywhere

Also me: *hasn't eaten food in two days, hasn't had water in just as long, has been hunched over current hyper fixation for hours without moving, hasn't seen sunlight in days*

Me: .... Just one of life's great mysteries I suppose

[batsplat]

sometimes pecco pops his pussy so hard that i’m like wow you really are 3 time world champion! other times he decides to go play in the gravel when leading and i remember that he scored 0 points in his moto3 rookie season

when the commentary during the sprint was like 'you know, he could have been on five consecutive race wins now if he hadn't crashed out of the catalunya sprint on the last lap', I had to laugh because that's the pecco bagnaia experience right there isn't it. even when he's winning four races in a row, a part of your brain is still remembering the disaster that directly preceded it. when he got that track limit warning, I was convinced he was gonna mess it up. not because it's something he usually messes up, because it isn't - just because you're always waiting for something to go wrong and that seemed as good an opening as any. but no, apparently he's just in the bit of the season where he wins stuff. for whatever reason. or maybe he'll crash on sunday. who knows

[neodiekido]

would maki harukawa fw red guy dhmis

[digo3d]

here’s another ask! What is a tick/character aspect that Dobble secretly likes about each of the cats?

Hmm let's seeee

Naturally with T.C. he admires how much he cares for/all he does for the gang and how much that cat tries to make the best life for them despite their situation or their poverty. I think he simultaneously despises and admires how stubborn T.C. is as a person.

Benny is a very happy and funny little guy and he's almost always able to make Dibble laugh even just a little bit. He does wonder how an innocent lil lad like him got wrapped up with a character like Top Cat but does recognize just how important he is to him and how much he looks up to him.

Dib really likes how expressive and empathetic Chooch is and especially likes how his enthusiasm is contagious. If he's excited you also will be very soon. He's very transparent and wears his heart on his sleeve, he doesn't try and hide his feelings away like most people Dib knows. Also he's very fluffy. Foofy fella. Foofy woofy Choochie boy.

I like to think that Dibble secretly wishes he could have Spook's relaxed attitude so that he wouldn't be so stressed all the time. Spook has got sort of a calming aura to him and while he does beef with Spook the most (besides T.C. ofc), being near him is like a little mental break and he also offers some damn good wisdom and advice.

Fancy's self-confidence is only to be rivaled by the most popular of celebrities, yet he always managed to make room for the fellas in his life despite how many girlfriends he might have at the time. Fancy's boisterous enough to be incredibly charismatic yet he's also humble enough to recognize what he has and hold it near and dear to his heart. Dibble thinks more people can (and should) learn from him.

This is very much a self-indulgent headcanon but Brain is very much Dibble's favorite kitty. Aside from just being the cutest and silliest little scrunkly around, Brain is very kind, patient, doesn't believe in holding a grudge (most of the time) and is a very good listener. It baffles Dib how he didn't become a cold-hearted cynic with all he's been through. Brain's unwavering kindness is a shining light in Dibble's grim career, reminding him that the world doesn't have to be so evil.

That was very long winded and yappy but atp that's the standard for my Sleepy Middle-of-the-Night Posts

Also I meant to reply to this earlier my bee I took a 3 hour long nap and forgot i was alive when I woke up

[hooved]

just remembered that i've discussed, genuinely and in-depth, the possibility of barclay/quark (quarclay, if you will), and how horribly that'd go

[smile-files]

(insane person voice) this teardrop gjinka. THIS teardrop gjinka. yes this one will be the good one

[estbela]

Should I reblog an ask game. Question of the century. Idk maybe it will make me able to form a coherent thought about hetalia

[cartoonus-maximus]

Okay, I want to talk a little about my illness and my feelings about it while I'm able to think semi-clearly and put words together.

I haven't spoken about it much in depth on here but I have long covid. Which means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, as far as illnesses go, and it affects people in different ways.

For me, it means I'm much more affected by my allergies than I used to be. And my menstrual cycle has decided to rearrange itself, changing heavily from the pattern I had gotten used to over the past several years (I'm not counting how many years right now). But chiefly it means I'm exhausted all the time. Almost all of the energy my body generates is used exclusively for the basic things my body does to keep itself alive -- absorb nutrients from food, keep warm, regulate oxygen, etc. -- and I'm not left with much else. Some days, I can barely walk around my home.

With all my energy being used for other things, my brain power is heavily depleted. I can't think straight some days. I don't make many decisions for myself anymore. I have days (sometimes even weeks at a time!) where I forget things, because so little energy is being routed to my brain.

I'm sick and I don't even have the mental energy to learn about my illness, or the physical energy to get better. Any energy my body creates is used for the simple basic act of surviving every day.

And when I say I'm forgetful, I mean some days I set things down and forget about them, because my object permanence isn't there at the moment. But I also mean some days I don't remember the title of my favorite shows or books or movies, and couldn't tell you anything about them other than "it makes me happy, even if I don't know what it is anymore."

Like, literally, I started re-watching a show for the fourth time because I forgot the entire thing! DX On the one hand, it's fun to see my favorite shows and movies for the first time again, because how often do you get to do that, but on the other hand, I literally forget everything about them after a few days and it leaves me feeling empty and sad.

Some days I forget my own name, and face, and birthday, and hobbies, and have to reintroduce myself to myself.

Now, that's not to say it's always like that, and I think that's of the frustrating parts. Some days, I'm totally aware and with it and I can wax poetic about comic books I read years ago, I can churn out art and fics with the best of them, and I can analyze Russian literature from decades before my parents were born. I'm eager to chat with my friends about the latest movie or doll release and what are feelings are about where the franchise and industry as a whole is going. I can work part-time and I'm attentive at my job, zeroing in on minor blemishes in the film and removing them quickly, color correcting and editing and cleaning up as needed.

But other days, I feel like a zombie, shuffling around with no real purpose or thought to it. Sometimes, I have to be led around, verbally reminded to eat or instructed which room to go to. I feel like I've lost parts of myself, but I have no knowledge or what was lost -- only that there are gaping holes left. I'm lost in the brain fog, and I can't even begin to find my way out.

And those are the days that terrify me. If I'm being honest, I'm scared that one day I'll wake up having lost enormous pieces of myself, and those pieces won't come back to me, and I won't know enough to even know what they were. I'm scared of losing the things that make me me.

I feel my body failing me, and it scares me. I feel my mind failing me, and that scares me more.

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

*dusting off this old blog* Well it's been a while, isn't it?

[skrunksthatwunk]

wait why is dmc1 good

[sysig]

I’m turning you all into marketable plushies, you watch (Patreon)

Bonus eyes because embroidery brain:

[kalashtars]

feeling very "want to disappear to a medium-sized northeastern town, live in a tiny studio apartment with a cat, work in a small music/book store that might slowly be killing me via asbestos, and take a small class once a week for something slightly eccentric like ballroom dancing or candle making" rn

[merge-conflict]

Since you asked twice: 4, 61, & 66 for the fic writer asks :>

Heheh :3 (questions here)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

I ask myself questions. The scope and number of questions depends on the idea. Am I looking to complete a next scene? Why don't I know what the character will do next? Do they need to make a decision, or does something need to motivation to move past an obstacle? Is their struggle internal or external at this moment? Are they at full capacity or are they tired or hurt and more likely to mess up or do something impulsive?

For fic ideas it's just that but broader. Usually I get a snippet of a scene or inspiration from some outside source- either my own life or some other story. Maybe I just think that two characters should meet, or be put in a situation where they have to fight. Maybe Johnny should punch Valentine in the face. Then I just work backwards from there- what kind of pressure would cause them to be angry at each other? If they have an argument can it be exacerbated by some vulnerability or just because they're having a bad day? Because something else happened and now they're on a hair trigger? What would cause them to fight instead of just walk away? And then just sort of reverse engineering the situation from there. It fails a fair amount of the time, but asking the questions themselves helps flesh things out to make it easier to work out ideas for those characters or any characters, so there's never anything lost through brainstorming.

Also honestly sometimes when I can't think of anything or I'm frustrated and want to vent or cry about it... I'll give myself a weird objective. Try a new POV. Keep it a certain length. Change tense. Write about someone without ever saying their name. It also doesn't always work, but concentrating on some new kind of goal often gets me out of the pit I've been languishing in even when it fails.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

I love doing it, and also I can't really control my brain when it comes up with stories. So they're going to be in my head anyway, and writing them down helps me develop them and enjoy them even more. Obviously I do love and enjoy the community part of writing fanfiction, and getting feedback and engagement. (Love it. Crave it. Don't we all?) But ultimately I just love doing character studies, and constructing scenes and making things. Sometimes I "write" for hours and get very little done but I really enjoy that time, and if that ever changed I wouldn't do it.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

I don't think any of those things worry me too much. I do feel bad for not updating regularly sometimes but I hardly do anything regularly. I could keep a habit for 3 months and drop it in 2 days for something new. If I don't like something I'm hitting the bricks. Honestly the biggest struggle I have is that period of time just before and just after sharing a story- it's like as soon as I hit post my self-confidence dives, and by that time I've usually reviewed my own writing so many times that it just looks like garbage. Similar to saying a word over and over until it becomes meaningless and annoying? It's kind of the worst. So far the only solution I've found is to leverage my adhd and distract myself until I'm out of the danger zone. I've also found the more I do it the easier it gets, like exposure therapy. The anxiety poison damage from posting gets a little less now that I know "How It Works (tm)".

I do often get stuck on something (a scene, etc.) but my writing process is really messy and so I will leverage having multiple projects and just sort of tool around through them until I find something I can make progress on. If I have motivation I have to follow it or I'll never do anything so just going with the flow and not getting too hung up on doing things In Order or finishing my writing veggies before my writing dessert. Having little to no executive function means that there are some things that I can't do without spending extra spoons and I'm alright with some comfortable chaos.